I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
