I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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