You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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