Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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