I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
