i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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