I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
