ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
