I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we're making bets on your personal life
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
