Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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