i don't like sucking hair
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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