Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
