And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
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