Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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