There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
