I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
