I just cut my nipple shaving
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
