My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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