Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
