Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
