Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
