Non-Jews are for practice
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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