she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
