Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
