The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
