she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
