My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I think I sprained my soul last night
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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