he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
