the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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