I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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