Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
