carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I haven't been this sober since birth.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
