Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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