you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
