We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
