did you get engaged???
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
