I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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