my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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