Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
