I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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