Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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