i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
