It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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