The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
