Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
