So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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