She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
