He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
