i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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