When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
