Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
